As the kids display symptoms of post-Halloween MSIH (Massive Sugar Intake High) on this first night of November, I thought I'd take the opportunity to get a head start on this years Christmas list.
It may seem a tad early, but I'd like to break with tradition and not wait until the last minute this year. After all, there's a nip in the air. Malls already have the tinsel hanging. There's no way to avoid it. It's coming.
Here's a first draft of special gifts for some very special, if not needy, folks:
Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper: A majority government, a sudden and uncontrollable desire to stop trying to spend our way out of the economic mess, and a new sweater.
Calgary Flames G.M. Darryl Sutter: A time machine to go back and reverse one single decision. (Re-sign Mike Cammalleri and toss Olli Jokinen.)Alberta Premier Ed Stelmach: A convenient reason to leave, a clue, and a way to end those comparisons to that PC guy in those Mac commercials.
The Wildrose Alliance Party of Alberta: A star candidate outside of Calgary, a strong coalition, and a comprehensive platform.
Prince Charles: A better P.R. guy in Canada.
The Republican Party: a thesaurus with the word 'conservative' highlighted.
The City of Vancouver: A safe, secure, and successful Olympic Games.
The people of Vancouver: That same amazing feeling of pride and excitement that Calgarians experienced in 1988. It was indescribable.
Americans: 'I got sucked in and voted Obama' 12 step recovery programs nationwide.
Jim Dinning: A Wildrose Alliance membership.
Israel: A defense shield.
The St. Jean-Baptiste Society of Quebec: a pill to stop whining. You are a minority. You have your Bill 101. Suck it up.
The United Nations: a purpose, or an eviction notice. Either one.
Canadian Troops: the support of all Canadians.
The voters of Calgary-Glenmore: a huge, wet, mistletoe kiss for each one of you.
Posts
1 comments:
hahah I really thought this was going to be your specific gift list and I was going to be kind and comment about a great site I found called myregistry.com which helps keep track of gifts for the holidays.
And then I saw that it as very tongue in cheek and enjoyed a decent laugh. Thank you for that! :)
Post a Comment