Sunday, April 29, 2007

How to Torture a Taliban



Allegations of possible torture of Taliban prisoners over in Afghanistan continue to dominate the Canadian news scene, and as usual, the focus is more on the well-being of terrorists (who, given the chance, wouldn't hesitate to slit every Canadian's throat) than the possible valuable information obtained from them.

When it comes to the scum called Taliban, I wouldn't care if every single one of them were tortured to within one inch of their meaningless little lives. That being said, here's the top ten ways to torture a Taliban:

10. Endless hours of the CBC.
09. New cellmate: Conrad Black.
08. Make him use a toilet.
07. Make him use a shower.
06. Tell him ‘they ain’t virgins no more!’
05. Rosie’s replacement on the View.
04. Make him wear ‘Jesus Rules!’ t-shirt.
03. Only reading material in cell: Gay porn.
02. Always call him ‘Mary’.
01. A nice, clean shave!

Sphere: Related Content

Friday, April 27, 2007

David Suzuki Hates Albertans

The fallout from the new Conservative government's climate plan continues to dominate the airwaves, and the reaction is what you would expect. Despite provisions that could possibly cause great damage to not only Alberta's oil industry but to the entire Canadian economy overall, the radical leftwing Environazi's aren't satisfied. While I should be ranting about how Environment Minister John Baird's plan smells like Kyoto-lite, and resembles something that you would expect from the former Liberal government, I instead must rant against the usual suspects of the Left.

The most revealing of the reactions against Baird's plan comes from none other than Canada's prince of tree hugging, David Suzuki. In what amounts to just another chance to show his scruffy face on camera, Suzuki came out swinging against the new plan. In an all-too-familiar example of grandstanding, Suzuki called the plan "..an embarrassment..", and "...a sham."

Keep in mind, this is the same guy who claimed that Canadians would happily accept a carbon tax - even as poll after poll showed overwhelming numbers to the contrary. Not all that tuned in, eh, David?

In a rambling statement that machine-gunned around different individual topics, the good Doctor seemingly attempted to counter the anti-Kyoto crowd's contentions that, without India, China, or the U.S. in the pact, Kyoto is useless, as well as the unrealistic timetable of the original Kyoto target date when he stated: "If we can't do it, why should India or China or all of the other developing nations pay any attention to the issue of emissions reduction?"

So we should use the international accord, which was signed on to and then ignored for 13 years by the previous Liberal government, as a tool to somehow persuade non-compliant nations to sign on? Even if the result of attempting to meet the original deadlines is akin to pushing the self-destruct button on our economic well-being?

Why would David Suzuki promote this insanity? Either he his completely mad, (which even I don't believe,) or he is just so anti-business and anti-right wing that he would actually support turning Canada into an economic third-world nation if it means meeting the Kyoto targets - which, in the big scale of things, wouldn't make any positive difference to the global atmosphere.

It's no secret that Canada's economic engine is located in Alberta. It's also no secret that the industry in question happens to be a major contributor to greenhouse gas emissions. What Suzuki has all but admitted verbatim is that he doesn't care about Albertans. The destruction of Alberta's non-renewable resource industry would not only devastate our people economically, but would hit us in all aspects of our lives.

We have seen it before with the well-documented fallout of the National Energy Program. When the full effects of the federal governments previous attempt at destroying Alberta's economy hit, the shock waves were such that the issue became part of our social history. Industries dried up, jobs were lost, families were destroyed by the natural effects - alcoholism and drug use, borne out of desperation and loss of hope - increased. So did divorce. So did suicide rates in Alberta. Even today, with the current economic boom, we haven't forgotten.

Albertan's just don't know which is worse: John Baird's plan that is going to slowly bleed Alberta's economy, or David Suzuki's contention that it isn't fast enough. Sphere: Related Content

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Good Toons








...and finally, just so the pot can be stirred up once again,
I repost the Danish cartoons:

Sphere: Related Content

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Gun Control and other Various Rants

Let's start off this round with an obvious topic. The latest rash of random gun violence in the United States has set off the anti-gun crowd once again. In Canada, we have had our share of nutjobs who decide to shoot up universities. And, like in the U.S., we are debating and focusing on the wrong issue. While the pro-gun control crowd labels anyone who doesn't support their views as 'in bed with the NRA' and, as one witness of the Montreal incident last fall stated: "...as guilty as the killer...", they cling to the pipe dream that some sort of 'ban' will eliminate the threat of this happening. Because, as we all know, potential criminals are going to be first in line to register their guns, right? The brutal truth is, if there had been a few teachers/administrators/students in Virginia that had access to a weapon, some lives could have been saved.....Moving on......

......there was a time when G.Q. magazine had true substance and style. Now, it's just another liberal publication......Why is it that every time I see Stephane Dion on television, I hear ticking?.....It's just my opinion, but: I think David Suzuki is the anti-Christ......History will show that Stephen Harper was the right wartime Prime Minister.......another year, another bushel of fringe Western Canada/Alberta separatist parties appear......so far, the reviews of Ed Stelmach's time as Alberta's Premier is zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......the most underrated forum?nohippos.com......the most overrated? rabble.com.......are Hilary Clinton's advisers telling her to stop trying to be Black yet?.......are Barack Obama's advisers telling him to start trying to be Black yet?.......dark horse in the Republican race: Fred Thompson.......can we start to seriously discuss removing the Queen from our currency yet?.......Canada's money and population are all starting to center in Alberta. I wonder if Toronto is getting nervous.......just read Alberta Liberal leader Kevin Taft's latest book. He's as good a writer as he is a party leader. Read into that what you will.......cure for alcoholism: take a drink only when the CBC does a pro-rightwing report.......Alberta Senator (and former Lib leader) Grant Mitchell returned from obscurity with a well-publicized tangle with federal Environment Minister John Baird over the Kyoto Accord. An unelected, unimportant Senator getting airtime for trying to verbally slap Baird, essentially calling the Minister a liar. Welcome to the wonderful Canadian political system.......and hey, anybody know where Nancy MacBeth is these days? Sphere: Related Content

Friday, April 20, 2007

White Coats and Butterfly Nets

A hypothetical situation - imagine the following for a second:

April 19, 1940. Liberal Party leader and Prime Minister MacKenzie-King introduced a motion that would set a deadline for removing Canadian troops from Europe by February, 1942. Citing the need for 'direction' in our fight against the oppressive enemy, MacKenzie-King also called for less direct military involvement by Canadian forces, and an immediate increase in the area of 'rebuilding' and 'reconstruction' - once things stop getting blown up, of course.

Of course, this never happened. Our troops fought on, focused on winning today's battle and living to fight tomorrow. They didn't worry about defeating the enemy before the due date on the war expired.

Stephane Dion, with his call for the official 'withdrawal with honour' (explain that one to me) of Canadian troops from Afghanistan before 2009 isn't bad politics or misguided policy - it's evidence that Mr. Dion is fucking nuts. Loopy. Squirrel bait. The Liberal party has been taken for a ride by a complete and total nutjob. Only a truly insane man would suggest that a war could be over and done with on a specific date in the future.

This latest change of direction by the Liberal leader - and he has had quite a few different positions on the Afghanistan war - is, on the surface, a bald-faced attempt to sway some voters in the traditionally anti-war province of Quebec. Given P.M. Stephen Harper's rise in popularity in la belle province it isn't surprising that Dion would want to stem the Conservative tide in his home. But, in this latest of wrong turns by the suddenly farcical sideshow known as the federal Liberal party since Dion's inception as leader, the fluently-Frenglish speaking Dion has handed the Taliban all the tools they need to declare a moral victory.

You can almost envision a couple of Taliban murderers, crouching side by side in a cave, laughing at the weak will of Canada. Hell, the hefty belly laughs might make it hard to assemble their suicide bomber vests. "Those crazy Canucks..."

The scariest part of this sad tale is watching fellow Liberal M.P.'s (paging Mr. McTeague...) supporting this insult to our Armed Forces. It is no secret that the Liberal brain trust hasn't been all that pleased with Dion's efforts thus far, and the internal rift grows with every boneheaded policy that Stephane Dion comes up with. Like gasoline on a blaze, Dion has driven a bigger wedge into his own party with this motion.

Obviously, with poll after poll showing his popularity in free fall, the Canadian public isn't too impressed with Dion, either.

In fact, the only people who are impressed with Stephane Dion's latest move are the terrorists. Sphere: Related Content

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Democracy In Action

The good folks over at www.nohippos.com are hosting a poll thread, asking readers to choose the next official promotional banner for the Rants from the Moderate Separatist blog!

Check it out, cast your vote, then take a look around this super web forum at:
http://www.nohippos.com/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=1493 Sphere: Related Content

Friday, April 13, 2007

The New Math

In an attempt to better explain politics, we here at the Moderate Separatist H.Q. have developed a new system of political math. Here's what we've come up with so far:


Iran Pres. Nutjob plus DNC Chair Howard Dean equals: Borat!



Grit leader Stephane Dion plus Green leader Lizzie May equals: a freak of nature!



Hilary Clinton plus White House in 2008 equals: more 9/11s!



Ronald Reagan minus a pair equals: NDP leader Taliban Jack Layton!



Daddy's little rich girl minus the bucks equals: Just another girl on the street!
Sphere: Related Content

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Spicolli Speaks Out



Actor/activist/photographer-assaulter Sean Penn tried his best to take the 'I Can Say Really Stupid Things Because I'm Famous' award back from Rosie O'Donnell's hands last month when he publicly read an open letter to President Bush at Congresswoman Barbara Lee's March 24th Town Hall meeting.

Using the occasion (and the free press coverage) to attack Bush, Penn rattled off his words in a speech that spanned from almost intelligent to juvenile. First, Penn lists the targets of his attack:

"Mr. President, Mr. Cheney, Ms. Rice et al: Indeed America has a rich history of greatness -indeed, America is still today a devastating military superpower.
And because, in the absence of a competent or brave Congress, of a mobilized citizenry, that level of power lies in your hands, it is you who have misused it to become our country's and our constitution's most devastating enemy."

So, not only is Sean Penn calling out the current Republican administration, but his fellow Democrats in Congress as well. Good to see he is an equal-opportunity idiot. Then, like all good Hollywood leftists, he brings up - and shows that he completely misses the point - of 9/11:

"The needless blood on your hands, and therefore, on our own, is drowning the freedom, the security, and the dream that America might have been, once healed of and awakened by, the tragedy of September 11, 2001."

And then the fall to the expressive abilities of a four year old:

"Well, you and the smarmy pundits in your pocket, those who bathe in the moisture of your soiled and bloodstained underwear, can take that noise and shove it. We will be snowed no more..."

You don't write your own scripts, do you Sean? Shudder....

He then tells the President that he has walked the streets of Baghdad, as opposed to Dubya who, apparently suffering from a bout of common sense, hasn't taken a stroll through a war-torn Iraqi neighborhood. Penn then plays the liberal 'kid card', describing the plight of Iraqi children who have '...suffered minimally...' living in a '...rainstorm of civilian death...' whose dead numbers - and he repeats this a few times for full effect - '...Two hundred 9/11s...'.

Not content with just droning on about Iraq, Penn switches over to that other land of peace and harmony, Iran:

"You want to rattle sabers toward Iran now? Let me tell you something about Iran, because I've been there and you haven't. Iran is a great country. A great country. Does it have its haters? You bet. Just like the United States has its haters. Does it have a corrupt regime? You bet. Just like the United States has a corrupt regime. Does it want a nuclear weapon? Maybe. Do we have one? You bet. But the people of Iran are great people..."

Is Penn actually saying that, since the United States has nuclear weapons, it's alright for Iran to have them as well? Is he really comparing the two countries? ...the two leaders? ...really?

The final paragraphs of the letter contains important information such as how America could have used the money devoted to the war to solve hunger in Africa, build new gigantic walls around New Orleans (and other terror-fighting acts), and a quote from his 15 year old daughter's school report. Interestingly, his daughter's writing was at a higher intellectual level than her old man's.

We get it, Sean. You and your Clinton-loving socialist Hollywood friends don't like Bush or the war in Iraq. But, while you are sitting in the basement of your mansion with Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins watching Fahrenheit 9/11 over and over, you might want to ask yourself why there hasn't been a major terrorist attack inside your nation's borders since September, 2001.

Put down the bong, Spicolli.
Sphere: Related Content

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

I'd Be Red if I Was Green

Once upon a time there was a group of politically-inclined people who, being disaffected with the current political parties, decided to form their own. In a unique and potentially successful decision, they attempted to build a platform that consisted of fiscal conservatism on a foundation of strong pro-environmentalism. Although the mix had never really been tried before, it was enough to grab some media attention. The Green Party was born.

Things were looking positive for the green Green party, as even though they did not have an elected M.P. in Parliament, their poll numbers were on the rise. And then, as political novices often do, they made a disastrous mistake:





They elected Elizabeth May as leader.

The former executive with the far left special interest group the Sierra Club took over amid a mini-media frenzy. Lot's of air time was devoted to May and her group of Greens despite not achieving any actual electoral success.

Lately, school-marm Lizzie has attempted to grab some of the national spotlight with media releases and policy announcements. With every word, Elizabeth May indicates that the original idea of a rightwing-leftwing mix in her party is dead. In what sadly resembles a high school crush, May's latest quotes are full of admiration to Liberal leader Stephane Dion. Great - the unpopular girl of the class has a crush on the class geek.

Calling Dion 'magnificent' in regards to his time as environment minister is just the most recent of Green-Liberal love-ins. May has even indicated that she would support voters choosing the Liberal party if it meant kicking Prime Minister Stephen Harper out of office. I bet some of her potential candidates are gleaming with pride for their leader after that one.

There is a big difference between running a political party and running a special interest group. May doesn't seem to understand that. Proof of her inexperience is evident in her decision to run against current Foreign Affairs Minister (and deputy P.M.) Peter MacKay. By going head to head with MacKay in the Central Nova riding May has guaranteed that, even if the Greens manage to elect one or two M.P.s in the next election, they will be leaderless in the House.

There is every reason to believe that the Greens could achieve impressive numbers the next time out. They might even get a couple of feet in the door. But those who cast their votes for the Greens will be former New Democrat voters who have grown tired with the directionless and sometimes embarrassing antics of their leader Taliban Jack Layton. Any hope for support from centrists and environmentally-aware Tory voters - the very people who the Green's were initially created for - is dead. Sphere: Related Content

Sunday, April 01, 2007

No More Foreplay

Days are now passing into weeks for the 15 British soldiers being held hostage by Iran, and while they sit in their dank, cold cells, the world's politicos argue and babble in an endless circle of futility.

Naturally, the issue is now before the United Nations and, naturally, progress has died. Countries are now wasting time debating whether or not to support the wording in a useless resolution condemning the hostage taking, the main focus being the claim that the British sailors were in Iraqi waters. It seems that our new best friend Russia has a problem with that - and so the circle continues.

Meanwhile, one has to wonder what those troops are going through. Iran doesn't have the greatest reputation for human rights or, for that matter, decency. Just ask Zahra Kazemi http://www.cbc.ca/news/background/kazemi/.

At least we are learning who our true international friends really are. While Britain goes through a crisis at the hands of one of the known members of the 'Axis of Evil', the European nations remain quiet, Russia shows belligerence, and the Arab nations continue to rant against American aggression. (When are we going to finally call Saudi Arabia what it is - a terrorist nation?)

The last thing the United States needs right now is to engage its military in yet another battlefront, but Iran has been ignored for far too long. Even if that wingnut president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad released his prisoners tomorrow it wouldn't be long before Iran pulled another stunt in an attempt to flex it's muscles.

Enough is enough. Set a deadline, and if President Wingnut doesn't abide by the demand...open season on his country. We can't sit back and let these acts of idiocy continue to escalate. Continually ignoring - or worse yet, giving in - to this madman's power plays will only dig us deeper into a hole. The time to act is now. Sphere: Related Content